Being in the Now V

Today was planned to be productive but apparently destined to be a day of rest. Sometimes what we plan and what we need are not the same. I could feel guilty about my 4 hour nap that was a result of falling asleep during my 30 meditation session or I could say "I must have really needed that, thanks be to the Creator for making it happen!" I choose the no guilt approach! But NOW I must pay...

Right NOW...

I am sitting at a desk with papers stacked up so high they will no longer stay upright

The breakfast table is smattered with books, clothes, wal-mart bags and sunscreen from the weekend, waiting to be put away

The bar is covered with bathroom cleaner, windex and febreeze (that did not see the light of day today)

The living room floor is covered with toys, kid's pajamas and an occasional piece of dog food that was not up to Mojo's standards

It's 2:17, almost time to pick up the kids from school even though it seems like I just dropped them off

Nico is barking to get back inside because the cicadas are so numerous in our woods that it hurts his ears to be out there

There are two cute little kittens squeezed against the front of the refrigerator, asleep in the warm air that's coming out

I have calluses on my left hand that I have finally developed over 2 weeks of excruciating "playing through the pain"

I have nothing to cook for dinner and no gas in the car

I feel completely behind on everything, yet completely at peace

Right NOW, I refuse to let what I did not do dictate the success of today. What I did do was productive, just not as visibly productive as what I had planned. I rested. That's right, I said it! REST is a four letter word in this house. My partner was never allowed it growing up. I was allowed too much of it. To much dream time. The world continues to spin, I continue to breathe in and out and the wind blows, the sun rises and sets. What matters is not that which I fail to do. What matters is who I love, how I love and how much energy I have to love. Everything else will fall into the place where it belongs...eventually!

A broad margin of leisure is as beautiful in a man's life as in a book. Haste makes waste, no less in life than in housekeeping. Keep the time, observe the hours of the universe, not of the cars. ~Henry David Thoreau