Thursday, March 31, 2011

Death of a Coffee Cup

For my 38th birthday in December 2010, my friend Wendy W. bought me a beautiful Jonathan Adler, double walled, black and white paisley Starbucks travel mug. I loved it. Not just a little; it was an apendage. Over the next 3.5 months, it was my constant companion, holding for me a multitude of vices, mostly coffee, sometimes hot tea, always something. I hand washed it, hand dried it and put it to bed on a shelf by itself each night so that we would be ready to go together the next day. I had an unnatural relationship with this cup (those of you who know me may have noticed this, you can call off the intervention).

Today, as I prepared to fill it with chai tea for my ride to rehearsal, it slipped from my hand and shattered into pieces in the sink.

My reaction was unexpected to say the least. I was shocked at the sudden welling over of tears. I don't cry. And yet I was. Not just a little. Uncontrollably. As I became still and stared at it there, trying not to cry out loud, my family noticed that something was wrong. I was embarrassed at my reaction to the loss of a mere material item. I'm not a materialistic person. I don't wear jewelry, I don't drive an expensive car. I don't keep up with the Jones' (don't even know them). THINGS are nothing but things to me, so why was this so devastating?

The answer came to me as I drove to church for rehearsal. Sipping from my old zebra mug apendage, I realized that I had entwined that mug with a strand of my identity. I had made it part of who I AM and I had broken myself in the sink. I had become attached to a THING that I thought reflected my personality to the world without me saying a word. It was an egoic blow. A healthy one, which is why although it was painful, it felt good to cry. There was joy in it; a strand of my ego was broken away. And that is never a bad thing.

"Recognize the ego for what it is: a collective dysfunction, the insanity of the human mind." ~Eckhart Tolle
Posted by at

5 comments:

  1. AnonymousMarch 31, 2011 at 1:57 PM

    Melody, maybe you just appreciated the artistic beauty and the functionality of the coffee cup. No matter what, the release of a good cry was a second gift.

    Gay

    ReplyDelete
  2. JacquelynMarch 31, 2011 at 2:45 PM

    Wow! What a morning! I want to know how you have a photo of the cup that was shattered. Does this remind you of Humpty Dumpty? Your response was much more positive. Instead, of lamenting over something gone forever, you looked at the positive end of the loss. It became a moment of growth and as we close Women's History month, I'll quote Charlotte Perkins Gilman, who believed the upper case "Self" (egoless) was more important than the lower case "self" (ego). She wrote, "All makes for growing--growing is the way!" Seems you had the right response to the shattered cup, Melody! Jacquelyn~

    ReplyDelete
  3. MelodyMarch 31, 2011 at 3:36 PM

    I pulled the picture off of Google images. Thanks for commenting and taking time to read! Yes, Gay, I did appreciate the artistic beauty and functionality, that's true too! I love you both!

    ReplyDelete
  4. MelodyMarch 31, 2011 at 3:40 PM

    AND CPG was right on. An egoless state is equal to a enlightened, peaceful and joyful state. Acheiving it is not easy!

    ReplyDelete
  5. MomApril 4, 2011 at 9:15 AM

    I have no words of wisdom but now I'm crying over the broken cup. Maybe springtime will bring you a new favorite cup that will reflect your idenity. There are a lot of things that reflect your blooming personality. We'll search for just the right one.

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)