Being In The Now III

There are so many things that have to be done in the next two days. When I think of them (the future), I feel a panic-born knot in my chest. By Monday at midnight I have to address the following:  taxes, two quizzes, and an essay. Over the next month, I have to find a renter for our studio apartment, plan worship music for May while down 2 of my best musicians (permanently), put two kinds of eyedrops in a sick cat's eyes 3 times a day, say good-bye to my pastor and friend, make decisions about my education and carreer and a myriad of other responsibilities that are too numerous to list. Being panicked and sick over these thoughts is unproductive and yet that is the tendency. So, instead I choose to re-focus my attention to the present moment, the NOW. That is all there ever is anyway. It is always NOW. I can experience nothing outside of right NOW. So...

Right Now...

my children are safe, healthy and dreaming of candy, slides, goats and bunnies

the surfaces I cleaned yesterday are again covered with clutter

Nico is thawing my frozen feet that are tucked under his warm body

I am sipping reheated coffee leftover from Flint River Coffee Company (where I sat earlier this evening and talked and laughed with people I love)

I am thankful for the people in my life who give a damn...and there are many

I choose to give myself credit for what I have accomplished today rather than give myself hell for what I didn't

I am blessed beyond measure

I know that I will get it all done, somehow...I always do.

Right now, I am content to be in this place at this time. I long for no other moment than this one. This moment, this NOW is sacred and holy; it is filled with love...it IS love, in fact. This moment is alive, vibrant and saturated with possibilities. I breathe in NOW and breathe out the past and future until they no longer exist within me. My hostility toward this moment is melted away.

God is NOW, not some past entity that people talk about; dead and gone. Not some future event to anticipate. God is alive AS this moment. Thoughts are a veil that cover the Presence of God. Putting my thoughts aside is all that is required for God to be revealed as this moment. NOW I will love without limit. NOW I will be at peace.